Jessies Story - A New Generation
"Every day is a mental battle for me.
Some days I am wholey proud of who I have become and what I have achieved. I glow in the love and support of my family and friends. I find strength to look back on the moments I am not so proud of as lessons learnt which in some way have helped me to get to where I am today.
Other days I am crippled with self hatered and doubt. I am darkened, consumed by the mistakes I have made as well as the wounds that others have left me with.
I was 29 when I first really recognised that my mental health had deteriorated. However it was also the time I realised that members of my inner circle had been suffering for years and years. This all came to ahead one Christmas a few years ago and I haven't quite fully recovered from it.
I look back now and I can see this triggered something in me. I was unrecognisable, I wanst me. It wasn't a sudden change but a steady tumble down in to a rabbit hole which was not only triggered by my own issues but those within that inner circle.
For 29 years it was standing in plain sight but no one talked about it and no one intervened. We just rode the waves and brushed it under the rug until next time.
I took the plunge and started to attend Councilling 2 years ago. And it was one of the best things I ever did. It wasn't an instant quick win but it was a life line when I needed it. And with this and the support of my most trusted family and friends I managed to get my mind back on track and begin processing what turned out to be a life time of emotional baggage I had been carrying around with me. It still attend Councilling today and intend to for the foreseeable future. I also do so much more to help my mental wellbeing such as exercise, socialising and just talking a moment each day to do nothing else and breath.
I truly belive that if we could have talked about mental health more openly back then, if the awareness was there then my inner circle and me would have suffered so much less. This is why B Brave is so important because it will help the next generation know its OK not to be OK and if your not OK there is someone out there who can help. Even if that is talking to someone over a cuppa beacuse we as a society are open about mental health and wellbeing.
I want my own children to recognise and consider mental health as I know I would have benfitted from it when I was growing up. Its something me and my husband always talk about and check in with each other on a regular baises. We know each others triggers and can see the changes when one of us is stressed. To just be able to say it out loud to one another with no judgement is so refreshing and helps prevent any issues building between us which we may have let happen in the past.
It's hard to B Kind on yourself when you feel like you have let others down as well as yourself. But I don't want to live out the rest of my life with heavy shoulders.
It's true, everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. So B Kind and if you don't agree, don't like or don't understand someone just leave them be and crack on with your own journey.
And for those who you can, ask. Just ask "how are you?" you never know it could just be the question they needed to be ask to know someone cares."
Follow Jessie on Instagram - @Jessie_Yolow